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star_charm18
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read my profile
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Name: *esa! Loves you.
Birthday: 9/23/1992
Gender: Female
Interests: .blogging. .chatting. .telebabad. .shop. .do the talking. .dance, dance!. .sleeping. .making other people's life great - if not miserable. ;)
Expertise: +just be myself+
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Yahoo:  emerald_kristel
Member Since:
3/23/2006
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| One minute ago, I clicked the "Shut Down Account" button, and was about to do so. But then, Xanga had this three step quiz which was all it took me to realize that I cannot continue. Hindi ko masyado naalagan 'tong site na 'to, and I'm quite aware of that. But still, it contains things I cannot delete kasi alam kong pinaghirapan kong isulat.
Wala akong iba pang malalim na rason kung bakit ko iiwan ang blog na 'to. Pakiramdam ko lang, na-outgrow ko na siya at kelangan ko nang lumayas para makita kung ano pang meron sa mundo. Siguro makakahanap ako ng bagong bahay pero matagal pa yun.
Before I go, may makabasa man nito o wala, I just want to say to myself this in case ten years from now I remember that I once lived in Xanga:
Teresa, you've been through a lot and in here, you wrote most of your heartaches and joys. You have proven something to yourself and to everyone else. You learned how to kick butts and how to say sorry. You have grown. And I, am very proud of you.
See you in ten years, dear. :)
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| Hay. So medyo ang tagal ko nang hindi na-open to. Nabulok na lang siya e, no? Haha. Pero what the heck, who cares? I mean, I was almost convinced to delete this account and make a new one na. But then I managed to stop myself. And for what reasons? Sabihin ko sayo pag alam ko na ha. :] I'm not sure. Pero I think ganun lang talaga ako e, noh? Magaling kasi ako talaga e. Parang si Alen lang. Haha. Nagkakaintindihan nga kami e. Diba noh? Anyway, alam ko naguguluhan ka. Because I'm not making any sense and I'm merely typing unconsciously without anyt fixed topic to write about. Sabi sayo e. Ganun ako kagaling. At kalinaw kausap. HAHAHAHA. :))
So, hey. Welcome back, me.
I'm back and ready for business.
Palakpakan, bravo! :]
I'm doing a Health Research thing right now. It's about mental disorders. Naa-amaze nga ako sa iba e. Parang, who would have thought na illness na pala yun? Lalo na yung pagiging obssessive-compulsive behavior? Oh man, I am so dead. HAHA. De, di naman masyado.
O fine, sige na nga.
Siguro nga, medyo OC nga ako. Medyo lang ha, wag kang over acting diyan. E kasi naman no, ikaw ba naman, di ka ba naiirita when something's like out of place? Irita lang e. Parang di ako makakatulog hanggat di ko maayos yun e. Asar. Alam mo yung pag nasa comfort room ka? Pagtawanan mo na ko kung gusto mo pero alam kong nalock ko yung door pero I'd go back and check it kung na lock ko nga. See? That's not so OC-ish, is it? Ay grabe lang talaga. Naasar lang din talaga ako e. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't a freakin' perfectionist. Or anything close to it. I don't know with others, pero para sakin kasi, I live by the philosophy that if you're going to do something, why not give it your best shot na? It's not like you're going to lose something naman diba? And I do think it's not a question of how many people would you be able to please in doing so. It's simply a question of how satisfied and happy you are with yourself. Yung tipong alam mong pinaghirapan mo? Yun yun e. That's exactly what I'm after.
I want to be proud of me. I want to be worthy of myself.
Makasarili? I don't think so. I guess I'm just realizing God's bountiful gift in me. And in doing so, I know I'm giving it all back to Him.
PS. -- Alam mo yung pati handwriting mo kelangan maayos na maayos na maayos? Yun. Gets mo na? Ang galing ko kasi talaga mag explain e. :]
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| INAANTOK AKO.
At naiinis ako dahil inaantok ako. Kasi kapag inaantok ako, wala akong nagagawa. And I end up cramming. Ugh.
By the way, it's almost 0400 pm. I better get ready for Xan's debut. Hmf. | | |
| It's been a while, And yes, I missed this thing like crazy. Uhm, so how do we do this again?
Let's see. It's less than a week before school starts. All over again. So let's not talk about that. Ha. And let's not talk about drama queens either. They are a waste of time. So maybe, I'd have to spend the rest of this space on something else. Something I myself am not quite sure of.
Oh, before I forget, I would like to create a loud noise for ROXANNE ORIAL. It's her grand debut. Which, by the way, is the reason why I should have hit the sheets hours ago. It's 1254 am. Ha. Who cares, though?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Man, I'm tired. Don't shoot me here, I mean, what am I supposed to do anyway? Look, how do you stop the world from barging into your doorstep and creating a chaos out of your should-have-been peaceful life. Things are so complicated. There are so many tasks to accomplish. Words left unspoken. Promises to hang on to. Lessons to learn. And with all honesty, I am not ready to learn them all.
But then again, there may be a lot, but they are never too much.
It's hard. No, no. Not hard, grueling even. Everything, and I mean, absolutely, every single thing seems to be out of place. And for someone who needs stability, who needs order and who lives on organization, it's a finish line.
It's my finish line.
Yep. I am aware of an imperfect life. But, I don't know. Deep inside? I'm screaming for perfection. For silence. For regulation. And perhaps it's because in steadiness, I'll find myself. When everything is finally in it's proper shelf, closet and bin, maybe I'd find myself somewhere trampled upon by all the mess around.
That's what I want. That's what I need. | | |
| Wow. I never imagined I've been out the blogging business for like forever. Looks like the past few months have been totally covered up with sticky notes and to-do-lists. But let me tell you something - it actually feels good to have myself and my blog back.
I've missed to write about several things - my outrageously simple 15th birthday, Fortitude's Universal Prayer Production, our totally amazing Field Trip, && Lexie's birthday bash. But it's alright. How about we start writing for the now and the future now's to come?
Mr. Jan Carlo C. Pagtalunan is someone I can hardly define. He's a genius Math savior and a particularly funny man. I have no idea what's going on inside his head everytime I get a chance to talk to him but I sure do enjoy our conversations. He is not mysterious. He is not weird. He's simply puzzling. He's the kind of mathematical problem you'll enjoy solving. Trust me. And up to this point, I still haven't deciphered the meaning of his actions - and his way of looking at things.
[Wait. I can't type. I'm out - laughing. JC KASI E.]
Okay, back. I was talking to him on the phone just a couple of seconds ago and I just can't stop myself from laughing. I know, my descriptions are not that crystal clear to some, but I this I tell you. You're going to enjoy his company. Itaga mo pa 'yan sa bato.
Except when he starts talking and gesturing about polygons and algebraic expressions. By then, you can go and kill him. :))
Today is the one-day-before-the-overly-strenuous-sembreak-is-over-Saturday. And I'm super dooper tired. Who ever said that sembreak's are meant for you to be flooded with one-million-times-infinity-plus-one schoolworks? This is utmost injustice. Especially when it's a demand that goes over what "demanding" means. Am I being too intolerant? Sorry, but I just want to pay myself some reward even for once. Because I'm absolutely, postively and without a doubt SURE, that the moment we step back to our classrooms, it's gonna take us a gazillion effort and perspiration to accomplish our soon-to-come tasks.
But hey, what's so new about it? It's HIGH SCHOOL. Period.
Either love it or loathe it. You're given the freedom to take your pick. :) | | |
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